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How to be a Webmaster Help us destroy the rainforest by printing this page! E-mail
Written by eHacked
April 15, 2004

Occasionally I receive emails from curious visitors to the
site on what they themselves would have to do to make a kickin’ rad website,
similar to my own. Well, cowboy, in this article I will outline all the
necessary steps needed to start your own website, which will lead you to the
path that will allow you to bathe in the glory that is web-mastering, including
all the women, men, money, cars, and fame that you can handle. Only an elite few
go beyond the first month of their project, and of that few, only a small
percentage make it big time, but once you do, the world becomes your napkin!
Ejaculate on it, sneeze on it, clean the blood off your hands with it, and when
you’re done with it, shrug and throw it away into the trash can that is
indifference.

Now, you may look at me, a 20-something year old college
student, and think to yourself that if I can do it, anyone can. Not so! As is
demonstrated by such previous articles, like
article #56
and article
#43
, I am a comedic genius that wields the hammer of irony and dark humor
mercilessly, and as such, there can be very few people like me in this world or
else it would implode in a torrential stream of funny. We can’t have that, y’see.

Pages: 1 2

Double Suicide Help us destroy the rainforest by printing this page! E-mail
Written by eHacked
April 2, 2004

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/news/wabc_033104_suicide.html

Quote:


The video was captured by an NYPD surveillance camera, in a housing development in the Bronx. Now the man’s outraged family wants to know how it happened. Eyewitness News has the exclusive details.

Stacey Sager reports from the East Side with more.

Parts of the video we will not be showing on the air, or online, because it is simply too graphic.

Martha Williams, Victim’s Mother: "They don’t know what they did by putting that tape online. They traumatized a lot of kids. They don’t know what they did."

Martha Williams tells us she was just beginning to heal from the tragic suicide of the foster son she had been raising for the past decade. Paris Lane, 21, killed himself on March 16 at the Morris Houses in the Bronx, inside the lobby.

But what the family didn’t know is that it was captured on closed-circuit video. On the video, Lane is seen near the building’s elevator, where he takes out his gun, and shoots himself.

Eyewitness News made the decision not to show the rest of the tape because of how graphic it is.

However, the video did end up on a Web site named Consumption Junction.com. It has now been removed from that site.

And so those who knew and loved Lane would learn about his death the hard way.

Martha Williams: "As a mother you have to walk in my shoes to know how a mother feels when she loses a child. And then you’ve got to know how I feel for everybody in the world to see his suicide online."

The family has hired a lawyer to investigate how this all happened.

Charles Robinson, Attorney: "As far as we know at this time, this tape was in a select few of hands."

The NYPD is also conducting its own investigation, hoping to learn more about the Web site’s owner, and where the tape was recorded.

As for Lane’s family, they remain appalled, stunned that this could even occur, let alone having the video appear alongside pornography online.

Tonya Williams, Victim’s Sister: "The Web site they went to was disgusting. Disgusting."

Eyewitness News has learned the site is run by a man out of Atlanta.

You’re the man now, dawg.

"What’s the other suicide?", you might be asking yourself? It’s my future one. Turns out there might be a 4th installment to the Matrix saga. While I hope this is just some asshole’s cruel, twisted version of an April Fool’s day, I’m morbidly curious to see if it’s real or not. Kind of like when rubberneckers slow down to see the badly mangled body of a car-wreck victim. You know it’ll be horrible once you see it, but until then you can’t take your eyes off of the scene. http://geiri3d.klaki.net/archives/000188.html for a short trailer.

I pray the Watchowski brothers don’t truly think they can salvage this once-great storyline from the shitpit they threw it in to. Fucking asshats.

NAMBLA Help us destroy the rainforest by printing this page! E-mail
Written by eHacked
April 1, 2004

North American Man/Boy Love Association
NAMBLA

Why is it that when a young boy of around 15 or 16 scores with a beautiful 25 year old woman, the boy’s father radiates pride for years to come, but when the same child sleeps with a handsome 28 year old man, who loves him just as much and can probably financially provide more for him that a dim-witted female can, the whole world explodes in indignation? It’s double-standards such as these that are keeping America, and the whole world, from enjoying true Utopia.

If we are ever to permanently eradicate all wars from our lifetimes, we must open up these love tunnels that have remained taboo for far too long. If a boy is old enough to be able to discern what they like and what they do not like, I believe they should be able to decide for themselves if they’re really in love with uncle Tom, or if what they are feeling is simply lust. Once they discover the truth, they are of sound enough mind to be able to carry out any such actions that they are willing to commit. He knows he likes candy, so he is intelligent enough to know if he enjoys making love with his older male friends. Who are you to say to this kid what he can and cannot do with his own body? God Almighty granted him this body, so that he may cherish it and enjoy it as he sees fit. If you were to try and change God’s plans then you will surely rot in Hell with the rapists and murderers and non-believers.

Yes, some of you might argue that God did not intend for these acts to be carried out. But, I ask you, who is closer to God Himself than his loyal servants, the priests and bishops of His Holy Church? His Word is spoken through these faithful servants, and they follow the true and righteous path that we must all emulate, lest we be damned to Hell eternally. You must never question the acts of these servants, for they are above us in all things spiritual, and by being above us they have been accepted into the Holy Lands. We spend out whole lives attempting to insure our acceptance into the Holy Lands, but why try making a new path when our Spiritual Leaders already know the one to True Salvation?

Now, I ask you, if Bishops themselves, who are one of the highest ranking Leaders our Church has, know that loving a boy-child is right, just, and divine, would you not do well to think the same? Look past the veil of corruption the Jews and Muslims have draped over our eyes for far too long! Look past it, my brothers, for we are stronger than that! God says loving a boy-child is right, and we must follow His Word! Let us embrace our young saviors, and together we will laugh at the non-believers, for we know that they will surely burn in Hell for eternity for scoffing at His Word.

I propose to you, my saved brethren, let us not call boy-lovers "sex offenders", for where is the offense? Let us, instead, proudly proclaim them, and those of us who truly see the light, as God’s Warriors. What is the best way to fight hatred? With Love! We shall look back, years from now when the dirty and God-less Jews and rapist Muslims are all eradicated and burning in Hell thanks to His Righteous Might, and say that April 1, 2004, was the birthing of a new era of brilliance, of spiritual clarity! Raise up, my brothers, for without your help we will not prevail against these mongrels!

God has bestowed upon us a mighty brain, a brain to help us spread His Word. With this brain we have science, and if anything, science has taught us that the dirty, sinful creatures that are women are no longer necessary. You see, God took from us a rib. A flimsy thing, a single rib, one that makes life a little easier to go through. But when you are protected by His Word, a single rib is not needed! Let us take back our rib, now that God Himself has allowed us to thrive without our temporary counterparts, and go back to the way He originally intended us to live - Man and beast.

Remember, if you do not join with His Path, you will surely suffer eternally in the deepest pits of Hell. Do not be a heathen and accept God’s Word as the truth, for it is.