So I am sitting here at the neighborhood Laundromat, with the only thing matching my lack of care in this world is my lack of clean underwear (hey gurlies even my current pair is dirty!). Oh, and before you ask, boxers, but tight ones. Anyways, I am surrounded by the unwashed bodies of my fellow Hispanics who are likewise washing their own shit-stained briefs, with my attention divided between ogling the hot chick that’s washing her thongs next to me, wondering what size granny panties she has one in lieu of sexy crotch cotton, typing away on my new notebook, and watching the clichéd Spanish soap operas on the 24/7/356-Spanish dominated TV, which, by the way, have 10x as many sexy 55 year old women in it than any American show could ever hope to have on one screen.

I mean, seriously, what the hell is up with these damned shows? I was fapping to one called “Mujer the Madera” which is about a woman who loves a man but dates another because he has more money and can therefore buy her much more makeup, and as I was about to cum I saw a rather sexy grandma with half her tits hanging out of that ever so sexy tight red dress she only kind of sort of had on her body. Anyways, I finished jacking off to her image because, hey, she was hot, but during that period of contemplation after you have spurted all over your hand and only partially made it into the sock I got to thinking, “Dude, she could so have been my mother, and I would probably still have fapped to her.” I mean, come on, you know that every 13 year old kid out there that has a hot mother with huge knockers has probably wanked to her a couple of times. Maybe even if he has a hot sister as well. There’s nothing wrong with rubbing one off, and in remote cases fucking, as long as there is no kissing that involves the exchange of saliva. That’s just nasty.

So you are probably sitting there, in your underwear, wondering where the hell I am going with this. You are right, I should probably move on, or back, as it were.

If you are one of those five or six lonely, bored souls on the planet that has read my complete collection of utterly useless, uninspired dribble (Not including myself; yes, I am a huge fan of my own work!) then you may have come to the conclusion that, hey, I am a pretty racist guy! In my last update I mentioned something that actually turned out to be a pretty good excuse by itself: I am brown, therefore, I am entitled to making fun of the extremes on the skin-color spectrum since I am the mean of both and a natural referee by birth.

Keeping in mind my natural tendency to be racist, and the fact that I keep spouting off on the supposed superiority my own, it comes as no wonder that some people who have read this site usually leave with a bitter taste in their mouth. I’d go so far as to say it is akin to the taste of salty semen, whereupon I would loudly proclaim my heterosexuality by stating that I have never tasted semen, but the truth of the matter is that I know the salty, bitter taste of said by-product. Damn those hookers. Anyways, the bitter taste here is not from the result of fellatio, but from people thinking that it is fine if I am racist, but that I am only selectively so. I say nay unto them, however, and remind them that he who laughs at his self the most is the sanest person in the world. Which, roughly translated into the neanderthalic language that you idiots use (Which, by the way, does not include the word “neanderthalic”) means that I damn well do make fun of my own race. So much so, in fact, that the Spaniards have issued a public apology for having raped all those nubile, defenseless Native Mexican American women after having infected them with their highly contagious viruses for being the sole catalyst that set the whole chain of events leading up to my birth in motion.

I have no idea how those last few paragraphs relate to the rest of this article, but it is my God damned website and I will write about how whenever I do not bathe properly I get this cheesy substance beneath the folds of my uncircumcised penis if I want to and there is not one damned thing you can do about it!

Pages: 1 2