There is a special word for people who enjoy bringing pain to themselves, be it physical, mental or emotional. Some people get off on the thrill and adrenaline that being pierced multiple times by large metal tubes brings them. Others enjoy getting kicked in the nuts and having it taped to be shared with the internet. Still others were mistreated as children and now seek the companionship of people who will do them harm – people who will treat them like dogs, and they also seem to come back for more abuse.

I am one of the latter.

So far I have documented two of my internet dating experiences, but unfortunately there are many, many more where they came from (my head, stupid). A fat Asian women who had a ass so fat I couldn’t fuck her doggy-style; a crazy white whore who I met on a dating website, spoke to for about 10 minutes, arranged to come by later that night to fuck her in the ass – all this before bothering to ask for her name (I wouldn’t have asked but I needed to know who to ask for at the door – I couldn’t say, "This white chick who wants some cinnamon" because, come on, that could be anyone!)

Next up in the series of unfortunate events that is my life is Gloria – the lovely Venezuelan girl who I met on AOL while I was still attending high school and while AOL still had a living soul on the other side of the screen rather than an army of spam bots trying to get you to buy their product.

She was 17 (I was 18) and had just moved here from Venezuela (thus she was Venezuelan) a month ago and had a distinct disadvantage that drives me wild – not being able to speak a word of English other than saying "thanks" and "shit". She had moved away from her home country because of problems between her and her parents – her mother was cheating on her husband with a drug dealer and her daddy was abusive, ingredients which we all know to be essential to a bat-shit insane woman. Other things include not having been loved enough, growing up spoiled, being pampered with attention, and being repeatedly told she’s fat.

Anyways, Gloria was looking for new Spanish-speaking friends as she learned to adjust to this new American life in her aunt’s house. Lucky for her that she found me, right guys! Unfortunately she attended a neighboring school that was a few miles away, and took make it worse that year I ended up exposing how stupid our high school’s IT manager was and was sent to the "bad kids" school. We’d talk on the internet and I’d lament my having to work 2 jobs a week and now being sent to this circus-school and not having the chance to "meet up" sometime. She had the answer, of course (she was bat shit insane) and got herself thrown into the same school as me by knocking out this fat chick’s front teeth in school. How the fuck I didn’t pick up on this as being a warning sign and instead thought about finally seeing her nice tits in person is beyond me. No, wait… no it’s not. I know why I didn’t care – I wanted pussy.

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